Dr Bertie Wai: Bilingual Clinical Psychologist & Psychotherapist

Hong Kong, despite its wealth of resources and standards of living, is paradoxically saddled with a depression and anxiety rate at 2.5 times the GLOBAL average. What often gets mentioned is the notoriously stressful education system or the cortisol-fueled corporate culture. What is less visible, and receives less awareness, is the psychological toll that a perfectionistic and achievement-oriented attitude takes on Hong Kong people, an attitude that is as pervasive as the air we breath. When we identify with expectations such as "you have to be X, do Y, and earn Z, to be good/worthy enough," we are implicitly condoning conditional acceptance. And then our life could become a cycle of re-experiencing how we are not good/worthy enough. How do we know if this is happening? If you find that the goals you set for yourself keep shifting. The satisfaction of achievement is short-lived, and is quickly replaced by the anxiety of having to face the next bigger and harder goal. Or, another common scenario is that despite how hard you work, your mind has a special talent of zeroing in on problems and flaws, and things that you do well on get brushed aside. This mental set-up keeps you trapped in the loop of feeling not good/worthy enough. How do we feel good if that's the air we breath?

To make matters worse, rather than addressing the root cause of how one’s attempt to cope with difficult feelings or challenging circumstances that gives rise to psychologically maladaptive behavior (the topic of my 2024 Tedx Talk), the medical model assigns to these problems of living (I prefer "problems of living" to "mental illness") a DSM code, as if feeling anxious and depressed for very valid reasons is the same as having COVID-19! This procrustean approach runs contrary to the idea of healing: to make whole.

Not feeling good/worthy enough is just one presentation of the modern ills. In other cases, problems of living might saddle one with a labyrinth of unmanageable feelings (e.g., anxiety and panic attacks), a pervasive and overwhelming sense of gloom and doom (e.g. depression), interpersonal challenges (e.g., narcissism or anger), relationship and marital problems, or unhealthy habits that end with an "-ism." In everyday terms, when you find that your behavior is taking you away from your important goals, when it takes you to places that fill you with regrets, or when your feelings are so intense that they have turned somatic or into ongoing distress, it might be time to talk to a professional.

Why is it important to find the right fit for your needs?

Research has shown repeatedly that the best predictor of treatment outcomes is your relationship with your therapist. In other words, whether the mental health professional you work with is the right fit for you is the strongest determining factor for success. Visit Working with a Clinical Psychologist to learn more.

Dr. Bertie Wai @ Beautiful Mind Therapy and Family Services

If you are looking for a clinical psychologist in Hong Kong for mental health support, you can find out more about how I work in my About Me page.

To further the goal of making mental health education more available, this website provides free mental health resources. The hope is that the information provided here is helpful to you--whether you are looking to enter therapy, or looking for information to better support you or your loved ones.

What is a Clinical Psychologist?

Psychology itself is a large field: commonly-known domains include education, social, clinical, sport, industrial, etc. Due to their specialization, clinical psychologists’ main focus is psychological difficulties that affect a person’s life, work, relationships and their relationship to self (sense of self).

Learn more about the difference between a clinical psychologist and other mental health professionals.

How can a clinical psychologist help you?

Thanks to specialized education and training, a clinical psychologist is equipped with an understanding of the workings of psychological phenomena that is valuable to resolving complicated “problems of living.” A problem well-defined is a problem half-solved.

My approach therapy: I tend to start with an understanding of your internal psychological experience and an investigation of what triggers and maintains the “problem” and the function of such “problem” (these problems are commonly referred to as “symptom,” “mental illness,” “mental disorders,” etc). Psychological difficulties occur in a system of contexts, and so your drinking, procrastination or infidelity, for example, occurs in a context of stressors and unresolved emotional distress that makes drinking/procrastination/straying a solution/relief (e.g., it’s a distraction, a form of coping, a response that helps you in some way) in that system of contexts, rather than a "problem."

I am aware I am speaking in very general terms where concrete steps are omitted. Because therapy is a highly complicated and nuanced process, each individual’s process and experience will be different. I don’t want to mislead you by making therapy sound like a series of mechanical steps that you go through and tick off to get better.

Services offered include:

Individual therapy: Individual therapy focuses on the wellbeing of a person. Sometimes people bring in concrete goals such as to overcome certain challenges (e.g., procrastination or addiction), or they want to gain relief from distressful feelings and negative mood (e.g., depression and anxiety), or they feel stuck in dissatisfying relationship patterns and dysfunctional family situations and they want change.

Couples therapy: Couples therapy is a space for couples to address the difficulties in the relationship. Some want to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and improve intimacy. Some come in to work through infidelity or decide if divorce is the right decision.

Child and adolescent therapy: Therapy is used to support children and teenagers work through social, emotional, behavioral, and learning challenges. Parenting support is an integral part of child therapy. With adolescent therapy, the needs of the adolescent will help determine the nature and extent of parental involvement.

Parenting consultation: Helping parents understand what their children are going through is an important element. Benefits include learning about age-appropriate expectations and strategies, differentiating between helpful and unhelpful responses, and processing how parents' own difficult feelings and triggers could make caring for their children challenging.