When arguments escalate and things start to feel out of control, put on the brakes. Say, “This is too heated. I think both of us can (or simply “I need to”) use some time to calm down and regroup; otherwise it is unproductive and we will just say things that hurt each other. Why don’t we put it aside for now and come back to talk about it tomorrow night (or X days from now)?”
Remember, if you are the one who initiates the raincheck, it will be your responsibility to bring the topic up again at the agreed time.